"It tastes like s***!" (The North Carolina State Fair)

October 2011

When Pat told me about the NC State fair all of like a month ago, I knew I had to go. It seemed a fantastic opportunity to experience another aspect of American life, and man did I experience it! We went on the Monday, when the crowds were going to be quieter and it would be easier to get about the place (that’s according to Pat by the way, seeing as I wouldn’t have a clue…). 5 of us bundled into Madison’s car to drive over to Raleigh where the fair was being held, with Andy seated in the front getting very excited about the fair and Betsy sandwiched between Pat and I showing us the wonders of the next iPhone whatever, and Pat subsequently having great fun asking it lots of different questions to amusing results! Madison was driving, in case you didn’t realise that…

We originally rocked up to Madison’s house, with the plan to get the bus to the fair from his. However, on realisation that the bus would cost 4 bucks each, and the car park was only $8, we got back in the car and drove towards the fair. Being lucky as **** we managed to find a parking spot incredibly near the entrance to the fair. Result! Entering the fair beheld a majestic view. Well, not really, but I was certainly full of bright lights and loud music and smell of fried food. Faaaaantastic! I realised how sheltered of the wider American public Chapel Hill is, with various people of (mainly) larger sizes wandering around, with thick southern accents that I seriously had no way of even hoping to understand. And that was just the kids!

Having not eaten since lunchtime (a whole 5 hours before hand), I was starving, as were the others. Andy disappeared off and returned with the leg of a turkey (no, really), and I spied something which had been spoken about with a hint of reverence for the few weeks leading up to going to the fair. The phenomena known as the “Krispy Kreme Burger” is one found at the NC State Fair, and was spoken about with a hint of awe, fascination and disgust by both internationals and American’s alike. Naturally, on seeing a sign advertising them being sold I knew I had to try one!

There was a little (ok huge) issue with me ordering one, as my accent wasn’t understood at all by the two girls on the stand. “Are you foreign?” asked one, to my look of surprise at their appearance of pure stupidity/ignorance/hick-ness, followed by “I can’t understand your accent, speak English”. EXCUSE ME?! I am English you dumb hick! This was where I fully realised I had stumbled upon some of the American stereotypes so well known back home. Anyways, once this slight mishap was overcome (with me then being asked if Krispy Kreme burgers were a popular thing back home. You can guess the response I gave…) I received a box with this fabled item of nourishment (Ha!) within.

As you may have guessed, a Krispy Kreme burger is a slab of meat with the trimmings (lettuce, tomato, fried onions) sandwiched between two glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts. You read right. Add bacon and plastic cheese and you’ve got yourself a heart attack in a box. Literally.  But the all important taste test revealed that it was absolutely disgusting. Imagine a McDonald’s cheeseburger, then throw a load of sugar on it, then a bit more, then glaze it in more sugar and you’re nowhere near how sweet this horrendous creation is. Coupled with the weird taste of meat and cheese accompanying it, it was just disgusting. Needless to say, I didn’t finish it, gave a bite to Pat who fancied a try (he didn’t like it either!) and threw it away. Seven bucks well spent! I then seriously needed some decent (or at least as decent as you can get at the Fair), and so followed Pat on the hunt for a ham biscuit (not a biscuit as in Mcvities I hasten to add!). Which turned out to be rather nice tasting, except I got laughed at for asking for ketchup (apparently you don’t eat a biscuit with ketchup…).

The epitome of healthy living...

Maybe not one of my greatest ideas!

The rest of the evening was spent wandering around the fair, taking in the sights and sounds. As it was a sate fair, there were exhibitions on show such as cake designs (some were phenomenal), competition winners for biggest vegetables (some were bloody huge!) and animal auctions. The amount of money thrown around was an eye opener – $10,000 for a cow seemed about standard (yes, I know being a city boy I have no idea about these things but it does seem a lot!). We also went on a couple of rides, which had to be chosen with care as it seemed that health and safety didn’t really exist at the fair and many of the rides looked like they were about to topple over. Needless to say, the high swings and ferris wheel were chosen, and duely enjoyed by all. I was also cool to get up high and see the whole area of the fair (absolutely huge!). Also on offer at the fair was the opportunity to stare in fascination at the various weird and wonderful animals on show. Now these animals weren’t just normal animals, but what were labelled as “freaks”. For example a 5 legged sheep or giant horse. The only catch was the cost of going in a looking at the animals – needless to say we didn’t bother. It also concerned me a little when I saw some adverts for a “fish girl” and “spider women”. Not sure whether that can be considered culture or just plain bizarre…

Yo veg is so fat....

Other edible items consumed was an ice cream as big as my face (no joke), a deep fried milky way (pretty dam good ill have you know, although god knows what it does too your body!) and deep fried macaroni cheese. Wasn’t so keen on the macaroni cheese I’ll be honest. It was amazing at what was on offer – deep fried Kool Aid (similar to Robinsons but not really), deep fried Oreos and deep fried candy floss were to name just a few. We hung around to watch the fireworks, which were pretty impressive to watch and then wandered back to the car and drove back to Chapel Hill, chilling out at Pat and Madison’s apartment for the remainder of the evening.

Deep fried everythiiiiiing....

The NC state fair was certainly an interesting experience which I am glad to have gone too. Having said that, I would probably prefer to go to a tradition English Country Fair with its quaintness and almost innocence compared to the American version. Plus it would mean I wouldn’t get stared at for my accent…